How to Rest in December

fullsizerender-3It’s December! The month that becomes impossibly busy impossibly quickly and you tell those five families you have been trying to get together with for what feels like fifteen years, “I’ll see you sometime next year, because we’ll surely be completely booked and also fighting these viruses for the entire month!”

It’s the month when I think, without fail, “Did I just birth a newborn that I don’t know about because I’m waking up every hour of the night with my kids (Brandon is helping😊) who have stuffy noses and new molars and new infections and bad dreams and the neighbors are playing loud music again and I really need to be working, but who is going to watch all the romantic Christmas movies if I don’t?”

You know, December.

Also, we just sent Joy (the little girl we are adopting from China) another care package. From Brandon’s parents, this time. This one included a Chinese Barbie and socks and shoes and a music toy and I think about it and I wonder if the warm socks are actually warm and will they actually make it to her orphanage and her feet and I check the weather in her province and it’s really cold there today, or tonight, because it’s night there, and I want to know if she’s using the blanket we sent her or if she’s hungry or lonely and why won’t they just let us come get her already?

Do I sound unhappy? I hope not. I’m so happy. Do I sound tired? Somehow (caffeine), I don’t really feel that tired, or overwhelmed even. This is just the nature of Decemembering. It’s my 30th one – I know how they go.

So, I don’t have bad circumstances, or Christmas struggles or even exhaustion.  But I feel like I’m having a rest problem. Like I want it and I need it and I’m doing it wrong.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I want to rest, but my heart often feels restless. I’m in the land of diapers and food caked crevices. And there are two less grandpas to buy Christmas presents for this year. And there’s a daughter I love with my whole heart who is waiting and suffering a world away. And I’m tired. Everyone in my house is sick and one of my daughters just wiped a booger onto my face.

Seriously.

My face.

And I look at these two babies and study their freckles and I watch the three little video clips of Joy over and over, and my husband texts me something that makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe. And suddenly, I’m worried. I don’t want my girls to grow up and hurt and leave. I don’t want this blissful season of my marriage to turn into a valley. I don’t want to give anyone Advil at 3AM tonight.

And I read those verses again.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

So I look for the formula. What do I do? To get the rest? To feel the lightness? And I read it again. And again. And it clicks. Again.

“Come to Me.”

Oh, you mean You?

“Me.”

You mean, romantic Christmas movies and secret cheese that my daughters aren’t stealing or a day off from diapers won’t do it?

“I will give you rest.”

Oh.

That’s it.

It’s December. My amazon packages are late and my girls are sick and my calendar contains many Christmas functions, but all Jesus really wants for His birthday is for me to come to Him and rest.

Maybe I can handle December after all.

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One thought on “How to Rest in December

  1. Heather

    Ya know He’s funny that way. See and I’m at the whole rest WHAT I don’t have time to rest so weary or not God we have things to get done.

    Like

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